The Things We Never Say
by CoriMariee
Summary: Sometimes we overhear things that we wish we hadn't.


The Things We Never Say

Rated PG-13

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Star Trek Voyager, the rights to those characters and the show belong to the creators of the Star Trek franchise and CBS/Paramount.

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"I love Chakotay."

When Megan Delaney said the words to her sister three hours ago, Kathryn hadn't been bothered by the overheard sentence but now, as she walked the ship in the dead of night, it gnawed at her.

She'd known that the Delaney twins had always been smitten with Chakotay and more recently, she'd realized that Chakotay had given up on her. The knowledge of the former had always amused her and the latter had settled like a heavy coat over her heart. She had dealt with them both though, and that was what mattered.

Now though, her heart was betraying her, telling her to go to him.

He's already taken, Kathryn. She reminded herself forcefully. You've already lost that battle.

Chakotay had come to her two months before and told her that he'd become seriously involved with Seven of Nine, laughing as he recounted their first date and even the first kiss that Seven had managed to give him without squeezing him too tightly or choking him with her tongue. Kathryn had listened quietly, steeling herself to play the role of best friend; trying to be happy for him and doing the best she could to support him.

As it neared 0200, she felt her eyelids begin to get heavy. If she went to bed now, she would at least get four hours sleep before having to be on the Bridge in the morning; a decent night's rest for her these days. She walked to the end of the corridor and turned to face the turbo lift, the doors opening to her presence.

At the same moment, Chakotay exited the lift, but in her exhausted state she failed to notice until it was too late. They collided. Bones and muscles jarring painfully with the impact. They both landed on their backs, the wind knocked out of them and for a moment each lay there stunned.

It proved too much for Kathryn, who felt her eyes stinging, partially from the pain and partially from embarrassment and lack of sleep. She blinked furiously to keep the tears at bay and took a calming breath to steady herself. She knew the tenuous control that she had on her emotions wouldn't last for long and she had to get out of there.

"Kathryn, are you all right?"

She blinked once more and looked up to see Chakotay standing over her, worry etched on his face. "I'll be okay, thank you. And you?"

"No harm done." He extended his arm towards her. "Can I help you up?"

Mortified that she hadn't thought to get off the floor before now, she felt her face grow hot, "I'll manage."

"Of course, you'll manage, I just wanted to make it a little easier on you, that's all. You look like you could use some sleep and with the way I jarred your shoulder when we bumped into each other, it's not going to be easy to sleep on it. Maybe I should take you to Sickbay?"

She hauled herself to her feet and stared at him. "I SAID I WAS FINE! And as for how I sleep, that's certainly no business of yours, Commander. Goodnight!" She wished he would let her get in the lift and go whenever he was headed

Her tone broached no argument, but Chakotay barreled on, not understanding how fragile her control on her emotions was at that moment. "I didn't mean to offend you, Kathryn. I was only trying to..."

"That's the problem, you're always just trying to.... You're so damned kind and polite… and funny and generous… You make every woman on this ship fall in love with you and then you break their hearts because you're just trying to be nice and don't know the power you have." Kathryn hadn't noticed she was crying until his thumb wiped a tear from under her eye.

"Does that include you?" She heard him whisper a moment later.

"Yes, that includes me, unfortunately." She watched Chakotay's mouth open, but no sound come out. She wanted to crawl behind her command mask and order him to his quarters, but something stopped her and so she stood there waiting - for what exactly, she didn't know.

"I'm sorry, Kathryn."

"For knocking me over or for making me fall in love with you?"

"For not telling you that I stopped seeing Seven three weeks ago. It just wasn't working out."

"You what?! You heartless son of a..." Kathryn stopped herself and took a breath, calming her anger. "I promised myself that if this moment ever came I wouldn't berate you or ask you why, I'd just tell you what I should have said long ago. I love you and I always have, and I hope we can have some sort of future together in whatever space we can carve for ourselves and each other."

Slowly, his lips descended until they were mere inches from hers, "I'd like that too."

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The next night, as she lay wrapped securely in his arms, she mused that she had been wrong. She had gotten a chance to say "I love Chakotay" to someone, and though she now supposed she would say it many times in her life, she was glad that the first person to hear it from her lips was the only one that mattered


End file.
